12 annoying things people say when you have a new baby April 21 2015

When you have just had a baby it seems that everybody has something to say about it.

While most of the remarks are said with the best of intentions, when you are sleep-deprived and struggling to adjust to life with a newborn, they can be a little annoying.

 

1.‘Cherish every moment.’

Every moment? Really? Because there are a lot of moments that I would rather just forget. Like the time I hid under the covers and cried as my baby screamed in her cot for the hundredth time that night, or the day I was so sleep-deprived I passed out in the supermarket.

But most of all, I do NOT want to cherish all the times I felt guilty for NOT ‘cherishing every moment.’

 2. ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps.’

This is very good advice – if your baby sleeps! But when you have a little one who does not like to sleep this is not an option. And even if she did sleep, I would have more important things to do, like going to the toilet or cleaning my teeth.

 3. ‘Oh bless her. She has a little birth mark/blotchy skin/funny-shaped head/cradle cap?

Thanks for mentioning all the things I have been worrying about so I can worry about them some more.

 4. ‘She is so…long!’

Let’s all just admit that ‘long’ is a kind way of saying. ‘Woah, your baby is MASSIVE!’

 5. ‘Are you getting much sleep?’

There is never any need to ask this question. I have vomit on my shoulder, my top is on inside out, my hair is dirty, I have bags under my eyes the size of refuse sacks, I am walking like an agitated zombie and I have a new baby. How much sleep do you think I am getting?

 6. ‘Does she sleep well?’

Yep. Like a baby. See above.

 7. ‘Have you tried (insert magical sleep technique that got their baby to sleep through the night at four weeks old)?’

I haven’t slept in weeks. There is literally nothing I haven’t tried. So right now we are sticking with a technique I like to call ‘Get Your Baby To Sleep By Whatever Means Necessary’.

8. ‘Have you got her into a consistent bedtime routine?’

Yes. I routinely put her to bed and she consistently wakes up.

9. ‘Has she smiled/laughed/rolled over yet?’

If my baby hasn’t done any of these things yet, I am now wondering why. Is my baby normal?

Panicking, I check out Google, I call the health visitor, I read the baby books – why the hell isn’t my baby doing this yet?

10. ‘You are going back to work? I bet that will be a nice break for you.

I get up at 5am to get ready after being up all night with the baby. I drop her at nursery, drive to work and spend the next eight hours trying to use my brain on barely any sleep. I then pick baby up from nursery, drive home, feed the baby, bath baby, try to get baby to sleep, go to bed and then repeat. Five days a week. Call that a BREAK?

11. ‘You aren’t going back to work? I bet that’ll be a nice break for you.’

I am trying to keep a baby in one piece for 24 hours a day on barely any sleep. Some days I have no time to shower, drink a coffee, eat or get dressed. I haven’t sat down in weeks. Call that a BREAK?

12. ‘It’ll get easier.’

When? This is a big fat lie. Three years into motherhood I am still waiting for ‘easier’.

Source: Metro News